Noah's Ark

You think you got problems? Just imagine the problems somebody like Noah would have in trying to locate his billfold that he left in the Ark. You must remember that he was so glad to get his feet on dry land that he left the Ark and his billfold behind. He lived a long and happy life and then he died. He was sent off to Heaven. When he got there, St Peter questioned him and Noah was upset that St Peter didn't know him. St Peter told him that he had to prove he was Noah. Noah reached into his deepest inside pocket and his fingers searched the musty interior for his rawhide pocketbook. His hand jumped all around, frantic-like, searching.


"Well? Come on, I ain't got all day. There's a line waiting. Where's your driver's license?" St Peter asked, rather impatiently. A group of Angels began to gather around to see who was trying to get into Heaven. Noah said, "I got one. God gave it to me. I must have left it back on the Ark. Can you wait a minute while I go back and fetch it?" Noah asked St Peter. St Peter smiled and nodded, OK.

Now, Noah is back trying to figure out if he has landed at the right place. He thinks St Peter has got it in for him and has played a trick on him and has put him in this foreign place he has never been to before. Nothing looks the same. His ears are tortured by sounds and his eyes cause his head to hurt more than the first time he got drunk. He stepped into a building and spoke but people looked up at him, in his would-be heavenly costume, and they all laughed. He is still wandering around the Middle East trying to remember where he left the Ark. Noah parked the Ark somewhere and all the animals got off and disappeared to different places around the world. But for poor Noah, there was no parking attendant in Heaven to give him a parking ticket so he didn't really know where it was. He has just pulled in and left the Ark, but where?

He just came back to get his driving license to prove his identity. If anybody sees him wandering around please tell him to ask President Bush—he knows everything.